What to Do in the First 30 Days: A Step-by-Step Guide to Welcoming Your New Domestic Helper
- Jul 30
- 5 min read
The day your new domestic helper arrives is a big moment — for you, for your family, and especially for her. She's stepped off a plane into a country she may have only read about, into a home she's never seen, to work for people she's only met through a video call or a profile photo. It's a lot. And how you handle those first few weeks can set the tone for the entire working relationship.
A lot of employers in Singapore focus all their energy on the hiring process — the interviews, the paperwork, the MOM applications, the loan arrangements — and then breathe a sigh of relief when their helper finally arrives, thinking the hard part is over. But here's the thing: the hard part hasn't even started. The first 30 days are where trust is built, expectations are clarified, and habits are formed. Get this right, and you're setting yourself up for years of smooth sailing. Get it wrong, and you'll spend the rest of the contract playing catch-up.
So what should those first 30 days actually look like? Here's a practical, step by step guide to domestic helper
step by step guide to welcoming your domestic helper
Week 1: Welcome, Rest, and Orientation
Day 1 — The arrival
Your helper has just travelled from Indonesia, the Philippines, or Myanmar — a journey that can take anywhere from five to twelve hours, often involving an overnight wait at a transit airport. She's exhausted. Let her rest. Show her to her room, make sure the bed is ready with clean sheets, a pillow, and a towel. Point out the bathroom, show her how the shower works, and let her know where she can keep her belongings.
Food matters here too. She probably hasn't had a proper meal in hours. Have something simple ready — even if it's just a bowl of noodles or some bread and spreads. You don't need to go overboard; you just need to show that you've thought about her wellbeing from the moment she walked in.
Day 2 — The house tour
Give her a proper walk-through of your home — not just a quick "here's the kitchen, here's the toilet." Take your time. Show her where you keep cleaning supplies, how to operate appliances (and yes, even the ones that seem obvious to you — you'd be surprised how different a Singapore washing machine can be from what she's used to), where the circuit breaker is, and which keys open which doors. If you have a landline or a doorbell intercom, show her how that works too.
Day 2-3 — The phone call home
This one matters more than most employers realise. Let her call her family — her parents, her children, her spouse — within the first couple of days. A quick call home can do more to settle her nerves than a week of patient instruction. She's probably anxious, possibly homesick, and definitely wondering if she made the right decision. A few minutes hearing familiar voices can change everything.
Day 3-5 — Start with the basics
Don't throw everything at her on day one. Start with the essentials: how to make breakfast, how you like your coffee, what time the kids need to be ready for school. Let her build confidence with small tasks before moving on to the more complex ones. And show her, don't just tell her — demonstrate how you want things done, then let her try while you watch, then let her do it on her own.
Week 2: Routines, Schedules, and Clarifying Expectations
By the second week, your helper should be starting to settle in. Now's the time to introduce structure.
Write down a daily schedule
Some employers prefer a loose approach, but in my experience, a written schedule prevents a world of misunderstandings. Write out what a typical day looks like: wake-up time, breakfast prep, school drop-off, cleaning routine, lunch, rest time, school pick-up, dinner prep, evening tasks, and the end of her working day. Be clear about when she's expected to be on duty and when she can rest.
Go through your household rules
There are things that seem obvious to you that won't be obvious to her. Can she use the WiFi? Can she eat the same food as the family? Is she allowed to watch TV during her rest time? Can she keep snacks in her room? What about using her phone during the day? These might feel like small things, but they become big things when they're not discussed upfront. Lay them out clearly in the first week, and you'll save yourself the awkward conversations later.
Introduce the rest day system
You need to clarify early on how rest days will work. Is she getting every Sunday off, or every other Sunday? What time does her rest day start and end? Is she allowed to stay out overnight? Can she have friends over? The MOM guidelines require you to provide at least one rest day per month, but most families in Singapore offer weekly rest days — it's worth being clear about your arrangement from the start.
Week 3-4: Feedback, Adjustment, and Building Trust
This is where the relationship starts to deepen — or where cracks begin to show.
Give constructive feedback early
Don't let small frustrations build up. If something isn't being done the way you want it, address it calmly and specifically. "The kitchen floor still feels sticky after you mop — can I show you how I prefer it done?" is far more effective than waiting a month and then listing everything she's been doing wrong. Remember: she wants to do a good job. She just needs to know what "good job" looks like to you.
Check in on how she's feeling
Ask her how she's doing. Not in a performative way, but genuinely. Is she sleeping okay? Is she adjusting to the food? Does she miss her family? Some helpers are hesitant to share struggles because they don't want to seem ungrateful or difficult. Make it safe for her to be honest, and you'll build trust that lasts.
Review what's working and what isn't
After three or four weeks, sit down and do a quick review. What's going well? What needs adjustment? Are there tasks you assumed she could handle that she's struggling with? Are there things she's surprised by about your household? A simple 15-minute conversation can prevent months of misalignment.
What Not to Do in the First 30 Days
A few things I've seen employers do that you should avoid:
Don't hand over full responsibility too fast. She's not ready to manage the household single-handedly on day three.
Don't compare her to your previous helper. Every helper is different. Let her find her own rhythm.
Don't micromanage. Yes, show her how things are done. But once you've shown her, step back and let her do the work.
Don't neglect her accommodation. Her room is her sanctuary in your home. Make sure it's clean, comfortable, and private.
Don't forget the practicalities. Get her an EZ-Link card, show her the nearest supermarket and clinic, and help her set up a remittance account if she needs one.
The real takeaway here is simple: the first 30 days aren't about training — they're about trust. A helper who feels welcomed, respected, and clear about what's expected of her will work harder, stay longer, and become a genuine part of your family. That's not just good for her — it's good for you too.
If you're preparing to welcome a new helper and want some guidance tailored to your family's situation, chat with us through WhatsApp through www.ihomesingapore.com and we're always here to help.
